Wednesday, September 21, 2011

FINALLY, the reason the this blog was made can get into full swing.

With the move today to name Blaine Gabbert the starter, the Jaguars can finally start the next phase of their rebuilding process. Only one piece is left, but that'll probably happen after the season.

I shouldn't actually say this blog is in full swing, since Jake Locker is STILL the backup on the Tacks, but I'll take what we have now. Which is a new quarterback!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Real Talk: David Garrard has regressed as a quarterback. Part 1.

Cole Pepper brought up my Tweet during today's radio show, so I thought I'd explain it in detail (heres to you, Cole!). Mostly because I LOVE to talk football and partially because it is difficult to discuss things on the radio show, much less on Tweets.

David Garrard has been a starter for the Jags for four years and each year we mostly have seen him get worse from his first year as a starter.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Blaine Gabbert in-practice autograph session

During practice Friday night, David Garrard was seen calling off a play so he could get Blaine Gabbert's autograph. Walking back to Jack Del Rio on the sideline, Garrard smiled and said, "I GOT IT! I am honored to share the same first letter of our last name, let alone be on the same team as Blaine."

Interestingly enough, Jake Locker was seen walking past a small child  in a wheelchair with a rare life-threatening disease asking for an autograph.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Don't forget to visit our other site!

Giving you the REAL scoop on Peyton Manning.

http://therealpeytonmanning.blogspot.com/

SCOOP: Jake Locker found in Iowa IHOP.

Tennessee Titans rookie quarterback Jake Locker was recently found at an Iowa IHOP in celebration of the return of the "All You Can Eat Pancakes" special. Patrons have noted that he arrived sometime around Wednesday afternoon after he received a Tweet from @Davidgarrard9 saying, "YO GUYS, ALL U CAN EAT ARE BACK! GET SUM!" As of last check at 12:30PM on Monday, Jack Locker was still enjoying the same order from last week. When a customer asked him when he'll be in camp, Locker replied while pouring syrup over his ten-stack, "Lockout?"

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Blaine Gabbert Resolves NFL Lockout Dispute

Monday, July 25th, 2011.

     WASHINGTON, DC. - On a bright, sunny Monday morning, rookie quarterback Blaine Gabbert made his case for the NFL lockout to come to a halt. "I am tired of sitting around not preparing for the upcoming season. This must be settled. I am tired of getting texts from David Garrard saying, "Check out my Twitter page lolololol" and all I see is a picture of his hand and "CAN I USE UR PHONE 2 CALL PEYTON. HE BLOCKED ME." Just last night he was asking me if I could explain 'YAC' to him."
    Finally, after 45 minutes of Gabbert reciting texts, emails, and Tweets from Garrard that was reminiscent of George Costanza listing his life in the "Andrea Doria" episode of Seinfeld, DeMaurice Smith put an end to the horrifying plea. "Enough, uh, we must get back to football, uh, the players want it and, uh, uh, Blaine Gabbert should not be subjected to anymore, uh, messages from David Garrard. NFL Commissioner Rodger Goodell chimed in quickly adding, "Sure."
     At 3:27AM EST, the NFLPA and the NFL released the following joint statement, "The NFLPA and the NFL have come to an agreement early this morning to end David Garrard's harassment of Blaine Gabbert and the NFL lockout. We feel that it is in the best interest of the NFL fans and Mr. Gabbert to get back to work on the football field where he now, unfortunately, must be communicating with coach Jack Del Rio."
   Blaine Gabbert, while getting hurried into a Jaguar, said the following, "While I'm here, I might as well go get this debt crisis thing settled. To the fans: I'll be in Jacksonville tomorrow morning getting ready to be your quarterback this season. If I get in before 11AM, I'll get there before David."

Monday, May 23, 2011

BREAKING NEWS: Blaine Gabbert stopped the world from ending on May 21, 2011

     Jacksonville, Florida - The world was set to end on May 21st, so the story goes. It was to enter the abyss never to be seen again, but the recently drafted quarterback of the Jacksonville Jaguars, Blaine Gabbert, had other ideas. "I apologize that the world got dark for a moment, but I got wrapped up in studying tape and lost track of time," Gabbert said wiping away the sweat from his brow and slipping on the Jaguars cap he received from NFL Commissioner Rodger Goodell just one month ago at the 2011 NFL Draft.

     As billions of people witnessed as the world started to slip into the void, the unexpected happened. The sun shined bright once again on what was an ominous Saturday in late-May. While it would be hard to imagine anyone being upset that the world was saved, one man, who will only go by his initials 'P.M,' said, "Aw shucks, I was hoping [inaudible] was the last time people would have to see me come up short yet again."

     NFL Commissioner Rodger Goodell declined comment, but he was heard saying, "[Expletive], now I guess the lockout continues. I thought this was the end of it" as he entered his limo heading toward the airport, presumably headed back to New York to work on the NFL lockout situation.

     Jaguars Head Coach, Jack Del Rio, wearing his signature leather jacket and sunglasses, on the other hand, had plenty of things to say about his new quarterback. "He is a good man, and important part of our future. I did a great job trading up and nabbing just what we needed. Now, David Garrard is our guy, but Blaine will have his chance to be our guy soon enough. Just need to work hard with him and make him mentally tough. Saving the world from the abyss is one thing, but having me coach you is another. Have a lot of work to do; it isn't going to be easy but we are going to out there like grown men and play this sport like men do. Going to go out there with one mind and one spirit and do what we need to do to get things done." He continued saying nothing at all for another seven minutes as we walked away.

     David Garrard, Jacksonville's current starting quarterback sheepishly smiled and asked if anyone wanted to know how his hand recovery was going, then gave us a picture to let everyone know he is fine (http://a.yfrog.com/img618/9794/i02d.jpg).

     Asked what he'll do for a 2012 encore, Blaine Gabbert replied, "Well, I don't know, but if you'll excuse me I have to go. My wide receivers and I are going to go back to studying plays in the offseason. David gave me a piece of paper with someone whose initials are 'P.M." and said to call that number if I have any questions, but I think I'll figure it out on my own."